


What We Returned To

by intothemidnightblue



Category: The Flash (Comics), The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Bi-Curious Caitlin Snow, Bisexual Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow is Killer Frost, Good Friend Cisco Ramon, Hartley Rathaway Being a Jerk, Hartley Rathaway Resident Gay, M/M, crystal frost being caitlin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-11 11:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11147688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothemidnightblue/pseuds/intothemidnightblue
Summary: "Why didn't you come back?" She asked, etching a misty lightning bolt into the wood of the bar with a freezing fingernail. "I was going to... I got as far as the fence, and I guess the warning signs just got to me..."





	1. Killer and the H(e)art

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting the first chapter just so I can have it out as proof it exist lol. The villain in this was going to be The Thinker, but I can't DO that if it's already in the works as s4 flash villain, though it's still unconfirmed. Rip Flash writers stealing my idea (they probably already had it planned before I thought of it) I've been redoing the thinker parts and brought cisco into the mix sooner, but this is what I have so far. I'm probably gunna pop them over to an alternate earth instead, via Hartley and Cisco messing around with their powers.

"Why didn't you come back?" She asked, etching a misty lightning bolt into the wood of the bar with a freezing fingernail. "I was going to... I got as far as the fence, and I guess the warning signs just got to me," he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes in melancholy weariness. Music bounced off the walls as patrons gossiped, drank, and played piss poor games of pool and table soccer. Everyone was caught up in their own little worlds.

He pushed his glasses back on, and looked around, taking in the gritty bar, "I heard about what happened in Flashpoint, Cisco told me everything. He told me about a world where I wasn't born deaf, where I went out of my way to create these gloves that could level buildings with sound sharper than a Canary Cry. I was supervillain levels of messed up, Caitlin, and I feel like it's still in me. I couldn't face you guys with that darkness inside me."

"Trust me, I understand where you're coming from," Caitlin's eyes flashed with a blue he didn't remember as her voice grated like broken wind chimes for just a second, "I didn't have these powers before, either. I didn't even have the meta gene. As much as I want to pretend Killer Frost is just a mutated meta gene, I can't deny that I had this darkness before any powers manifested. I used to think Flashpoint stole our lives from us; that it took us from a path we were made to be on, one we can never go back to. I see now that we never really changed, not where it mattered. We all have capabilities for great evil, but we also have the capacity for an astonishing amount of good. You've always been a dick, and history only accounts for a portion of it, but you've been a dick with a heart, Hartley, and that amounts for something."

He gave a short laugh, "It's nice seeing you loosen up, especially after..." The mood fell. "Ronnie," Caitlin smiled gently, "it's okay, I'll always love him, but I can't keep myself locked up in heartache forever. The great thing about getting that second chance is I already faced life without him and I know what it does to me. I'm surprisingly okay this time." They both shared a warm glance as Hartley ordered another round. Their friendship felt like a distant planet, but it was still there.

"What are you going to do now?" Hartley asked, changing the subject. "Well, what have you been doing since you left? I'm not good at the solo thing, seems more your speed," Caitlin downed her new drink quickly. "Ouch, that hurt," He clutched his heart dramatically, "you're right, I mean I thought things would be easier after seeing my parents, I've stepped back into my inheritance even if I'm treading lightly, and really it’s because I’m the only choice for them right now. The thing is, I'm not a family man. They want me back in the limelight, as some republican gay symbol; find a man, settle down in a comfortable nuclear family living the American dream. I just want to go back to living without worrying that if I get too upset I'll blast out a building."

"I can try to help, I'm still the best in the meta medical field. Plus, you're kind of a genius. It should give me enough background to figure out how to at least dull everything down without having to constantly wear airplane earplugs," she pointed out the red earplugs emblazoned with the Flash insignia. "Welcome to Central, home to the biggest marketing scheme since the Arrow went kid-friendly," Hartley joked. "Can't escape him even out here." Caitlin concluded, almost unhappily.

Hartley stared, "you're running away." Caitlin cocked her head, "what makes you say that?" "A lucky guess," Hartley narrowed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "So, tell me about your romp as _Killer Frost_ ," Hartley wiggled his fingers in mock movements. "I do not look like that! It's more of a-" She imitated blasting ice, less like Hartley's magic-like movements and more of a base push out from her chest. "You know, if I get the hang of the whole blasting sound waves thing, I'm gunna flourish it. You can't stop me," He proclaimed. "Wouldn't dream of it," She smiled. "I still want to know what happened. _Cisquito_ kind of dropped out on me after your new Brit boytoy turned out to be henchmen number one." Caitlin shrugged, "the big bad turned out to be a broken Barry; a time remnant from the future on a time loop. The most unbelievable part of it was realizing even Barry Allen has such a bleak darkness." "I kind of hoped he didn't," Hartley grumbled, staring offensively at the drink he'd been sipping. His mood had soured at the statement, a cause for concern. "Why would you say that?" Caitlin asked. "Haven't I already poured my soul enough?" Hartley snarled, falling into what Cisco lovingly would call "dick-mode." Caitlin could hear the low-lying hum of a foreign frequency. Her eyes flared, she had found a nerve and she wanted to dig deeper. She wanted to know. People were staring now, Hartley had knocked over a fork and their table had become a cold spot.

Sure, right after all that trauma, she mistook the shock for a level of control on her alter-ego. Lately though, she wished she hadn't given back the cure. Instead of dwelling, she clasped her hands together and closed her eyes. The cold of her palms and eventual quiet of the mind gave her enough strength to pull away from her intrusive thoughts. "You don't have to tell me," she finally spoke, more for herself than to answer Hartley. He relaxed once the temperature heated back up and the chilling mist rising from Caitlin's palms had faded away.

"I'm not the only one with power problems am I? I thought you had gotten past that." Hartley wasn't asking. "You're right, I'm running, but it's not from Barry or anyone else at Star Labs. I'm running from myself. Killer Frost doesn't just disappear after a hefty load of feelings. I know now though, that even as Killer Frost it's still me, and I think that's even worse. I thought I didn't have control because I didn't want to accept that if I had powers, I would not use them for good. I would not be _good_." Caitlin raised her palms in a small, mock surrender. "Tell you what, you help me, I'll help you. You may be a doctor, but I have spent enough time in a shrink chair to basically qualify as one. I may not know a cure, but I have a lot of experience hiding a part of myself from everyone else," Hartley offered. "Is that why you were the world's biggest prat?" Caitlin joked sullenly. "Sure," Hartley's smile was false, but the sentiment was true.

 

"You never actually told me what you do now, kind of dodged the question actually," Caitlin noted as they walked back to Hartley's penthouse. "I just... help Cisco sometimes. I do yoga now, it's one of the few things that I can do without worrying that I'll start blasting sonic rays if I drop a dumbbell or hit something too hard. I can't even wank without worrying about blowing my dick off." "What a miserable existence," Caitlin deadpanned. Her gloved hands reminded her of what she could no longer have, not while she was this volatile. She couldn’t even touch someone without the fear she would suck away the warmth from their bones.

"Well, it's not much but it's home," Hartley sighed dejectedly, but grinned widely. He had the penthouse suite, basically two huge floors of absolute luxury, if he bothered to furnish more than the necessities. "Impressive," Caitlin breathed. Even with the doors closed, you could tell the place was expensive; he had double doors. When you walked in, you were greeted with a modern flat with floor to ceiling windows and a persistent whiff of peppermint. The place was surprisingly empty and barely looking lived in, though that didn’t hide its amenity. There was a sleek black and gold grand piano sat off to the side that overlooked an indoor pool-slash-greenhouse room. The kitchen was off to the side of it, set apart from the rest of the room by a wide bar. It was probably the most furnished area of the floor. On the left side of the open floor plan, was an expensive TV overlooking a nest of couch. It looked lived in, like Hartley had been sleeping on it regularly.

"The upstairs is where the fun is. My lab is up there." He made his way up the steps that curved slightly into a wide white room filled with the newest tech and way too many posters of obscure musicals. Caitlin followed him up diligently, taking in the weird mesh of an upper class construct and the down to earth homey feeling that was very Hartley. "Boys sure like their toys," Caitlin looked over the room, examining the machinery and microscopes littering this second floor. "If you're looking for toys, I've got a whole other room for those. What's your safe word?" "How about I shove an icicle up your ass?" "Kinky!" Hartley responded with flair. "I hate you," She threw her still-foreign blonde hair over her shoulders and settled at some computers nicely situated with a wide variety of medical gear. A simple flick of the mouse and the computer was back up, no password or anything. There were a thousand jokes to be made here about Hartley’s lack of protection, but she bit them all back. The sexual innuendos were already too much when Hartley and Cisco were in the same room, she didn't want to start adding to it. Really, the boy’s rubbed off on her too much. She snickered to herself.

"I need your medical history, ah here it is- _oh_ ," Caitlin's voice fell. Hartley was looking over her shoulder in an instant, a thousand different flaws running through his mind. "Your implants are completely merged on a cellular level. It was some serious biotech to begin with, fetch me the blueprints? I could try to target the specific structures but it's so close to your brain and so tangled with your nervous system, if I break any of that or heaven forbid the implants start broadcasting at the wrong time you may have irreversible brain damage and lose a lot more than your hearing in the process." They both stared at the images of Hartley's tech nestled in his ears and the web of nerves bundled around it. "On the bright side, your ears might be heavily erogenous zones now... that or they'll be the center for almost unparalleled pain and persistent tinnitus. Either way, it'll give you a lot of headaches." Caitlin struggled to look on the bright side. "Is there anything you could do? Anything at all?" A creeping fear held his voice as he realized just how little he knew about his condition as it was. Caitlin paused for a worrying amount of time, enough for Hartley to shake his calm demeanor. "I might be able to make something to dull the sensory input and save you from the headaches and block out a lot of extra noise you must get from your superhearing you did not mention you had. No wonder you always knew the office gossip, and the password to Cisco's phone. Your powers could be restricted with special gloves until you get the hang of them enough, but other than that, I don't know what else I can do." She clicked through a few more charts, but barely looked at them. "Whatever," Hartley wasn't feeling the whole "conceal, don't feel" Caitlin seemed content in living in; he didn't think it was in his nature.

 

“Have you ever dealt with metas like me? Enhanced through mechanical means?” Hartley asked, genuinely curious. Caitlin had been typing away on the mercury labs computers he stole a while back, probably already clued into the fact of where they came from considering she worked there previously. He was going stir crazy, fiddling with the flute he had rescued from an old man’s garage sale a week ago. The thing was already in top-notch condition, but Hartley had been apprehensive to play it. He hadn’t played since he was a child, back when his unique hearing capabilities fueled a passion for sound and music that followed him up to the accelerator explosion. Now, sound was math and vibrations, and music was an ever-present annoyance when you were bombarded with _Top 20 Pop Hits!_ all playing at the same time every time he went too far into the shopping district. His brain was wired to all things sound even without the help of the meta gene.

“Plastique, though she was a little different. She had bomb shrapnel merged in her, which we still couldn’t get out. She died after trying to kill Eiling, falling back on her mission at the worst time,” Caitlin answered his question and bringing him out of his trance. He put his flute down back in its holder, “He’s the guy who was trying to collect metas for military purposes right? He sent me mail, like actual snail mail.” Hartley shuddered. He had been squatting during that time in his life and never used his real name for anything. He barely used his powers except when he was breaking and entering, so it should have been almost impossible for the military to find him.

“Eiling is a nut job, maybe even more so after being under Grodd’s thumb,” Caitling sighed. “The telepathic gorilla?” Hartley asked, “What? I read the news; news being the top-secret military files and Cisco’s not so secret blog.” “Cisco has a blog? A blog in which he has written about Grodd?” Caitlin repeated coolly. “Hey! That rhymes… almost.” Hartley joked, stepping farther away from the ice queen he invited in. “Please,” Hartley pleaded, “don’t take your frustration out on my toys, it’s hard to replace stolen goods a third time.” Caitlin rolled her arctic eyes, “I’ll take it out on Cisco whenever I see him again.” Hartley remembered his previous text messages with the other man, mentally kicking himself, “Don’t do that either, he’s coming over later and I would rather not have to explain the ice to my landlord, it’s already getting hard to explain why the electronics are shorting out so often I do not need to add ice fight to the list of grievances. I think I’m single handedly bringing down the property value.” Caitlin stiffened, “I guess I’ll make myself scarce then.”

“You’ll have to talk to them eventually, it’s already been a month since they last heard from you,” Hartley pointed out. “That’s not your decision,” Caitlin’s voice rose. “I didn’t think you would be over here,” Hartley squeaked, moving to protect his flute from the impending drop in temperature that seemed to accompany Caitlin’s mood swings. Caitlin calmed rather suddenly then, giving Hartley a guilty look. Hartley made a confused face, but didn’t move away from his flute, moving to tuck it into the threadbare case it came with, which wouldn’t do jack shit, but made him feel a little better anyways.

Caitlin had chalked up Hartley’s strange and nicer attitude to human growth, however impossible that seemed. She hadn’t realized he had picked up on her power fluctuation and was _scared_. Her mood fell immediately, the homey feeling of being around an old friend dropped as she realized how much of an outsider she was here. She wasn’t the Caitlin Snow Hartley knew previously, but she had just wanted to pretend.

At STAR Labs, back when everything was simpler and things weren’t full of speedsters and meta genes, Hartley was a friend. She had put up with his yapping and antagonizing mostly because no one else would. She allowed him to complain to her, waltz into her office and lay down his grievances because he needed it, and she often needed the distraction. It always helped that he was wicked smart, and would repay her kindness by helping her with whatever problem she was stuck on. Once, he even tried to give her relationship advice, but that didn’t stick. Hartley was the reason Cisco and Caitlin became friends. He strolled in her room one too many times complaining about the little Cisquito that she just had to know what the fuss was about. The particle accelerator explosion just solidified their friendship, even as it drove away Hartley.

When Hartley came back and they were attacked by the time wraith, it was like they all got a second chance to be the trio they had been heading towards. Hartley’s revenge played out by taking them each to the side and recounting the reason he left. EoWells still got up and admitted his fault, which should have been the first clue the place was bugged. Their trio must never have been meant to be, as Hartley left as easily as he came. Seeing him again after so long, it was easy to think he had just grown out of his petulance, despite how core it seemed to be to his personality. Caitlin knew better now.

        “This was a mistake, I’ll text Cisco what I found out about your… condition,” Caitlin turned to sleep the computer and move to the exit. Hartley followed silently, wanting to say something but not finding the words. She was at the door before Hartley made a move.

He played a short tune she faintly recognized. " _I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head..."_ Hartley sang. "Quid pro quo, we both help each other in our similar dilemmas. Despite the hopelessness of my situation, you still tried, so I guess I have to do the same to you." Caitlin was about to shoot back an angry retort, really she was doing the best she could, but Hartley shushed her with a simple finger. "When you balanced out during the fight with Savitar, what was going on, what did it feel like?" Hartley asked, still plucking keys. Caitlin guessed she was allowed to talk now, "I just, knew what I needed to do and knew I had the power to do it. My powers just flowed with me.” Hartley nodded thoughtfully, “In that moment, you were able to accept that part of you because you needed it.”

Caitlin thought it over, hand falling away from the doorknob, “I’ve accepted Killer Frost though, but I’m still struggling like a hormonal teenager.” Hartley shook his head, relaxing into the tune changing to more of a classical melody, “Despite your previous sentiment to me in the bar, you haven’t accepted Killer Frost as a part of you. You talk like your powers are a separate entity still. If that isn’t proof enough, I don’t know what is.” She leaned on the door, remembering the talks they used to have in her office. “Did I ever tell you how I picked that name?” she asked sadly. Hartley let the piano fade as she talked.


	2. Can You Hear My H(e)art/beat Fuckin' Kicking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t look so hot,” Cisco pointed out. “Thanks, and here I thought I was the pinnacle of male sexuality,” Hartley responded dryly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caitlin talks and Cisco comes over. Their meal is interrupted by a new threat... FEELINGS !  
> Also, the temptation to add H(e)art into all the titles is making it difficult to name things.

         Caitlin found herself unable to pause the words spilling from her mouth. She recounted the knowledge she had about her Earth-2 counterpart, and why they had even gone to Earth-2 in the first place, a piece of information Hartley had been cut out of despite his knowledge from Cisco. She told him about Zoom, the parts not made public, and about the various Wells’ and the multiverse. She just kept talking, and Hartley just listened. He realized just how much he had missed since leaving Cisco and the rest at Star Labs. He knew of Earth-2, but barely anything besides the other Wells and his daughter. She was a fun chew toy for the verbal abuse that came integral to his personality, since she brushed it off so easily, often biting back twice as strong. She was fun while it lasted, but even the prospects of tormenting a child couldn’t keep him around, especially since he actually liked children. Caitlin only stopped when the doorbell rang.

         Caitlin jumped, no longer by the door, but close enough to find the sudden sound alarming enough. She brought her hands to her side awkwardly, having been using them to embellish her tale as she only did when the story took her over. Caitlin often talked with her hands, but not as much as when she was with Hartley, often throwing in bits of sign language she had learned as a surprise for Hartley’s birthday once. They never bought each other presents, but it was something intangible enough that Hartley could safely pretend they weren’t more than co-workers. Hartley shifted uncomfortably, realizing he forgot to cancel on Cisco. He glanced at Caitlin warily as the doorbell rang again.

“I’ll be okay,” Caitlin said gently, but tugged at her gloves anyway. She might look okay, but she was struggling in worried apprehension. The temperature didn’t change, at least not noticeably, so that was a plus. Talking seemed to help Caitlin get focused and balanced, something Hartley only connected to girls and himself on occasion.

Hartley got the door as Cisco rang a third time, muttering obscenities at the always impatient man he reluctantly called friend on the other side of the door. “Where’s the fire?” He leaned on the doorframe, blocking Caitlin from Cisco’s view. He didn’t know how Cisco, or Caitlin for that matter, would react after their time away from each other. He knew Cisco texted, and also knew Caitlin never responded. He was surprised she responded to him after Cisco had begged him to text her after one of their movie nights that featured the frequent use of alcohol between the two of them, something Hartley didn’t normally partake in.

“Hiding a lover in there, Hartley? Come on, despite whatever state of undress, I won’t blast them into the wall this time,” Cisco joked, “it was an accident anyway…” A cold hand on Hartley’s shoulder and Cisco’s surprised face told him Caitlin had decided to make herself known. “No lover, just me,” she said apologetically.

         “Hey… Caitlin,” Cisco was at a lost for words, his first though probably that Hartley and her had hooked up, before remembering the boy’s orientation and the fact that Caitlin was fully clothed and probably at least eighty five percent done with dealing with the male gaze after her previous relationships had failed miserably. Hartley snorted, moving back into the room, a silent invitation for Cisco to follow. He didn’t, instead staring at Caitlin with his mouth open like he just couldn’t find the right words to say to his friend.

“I’m okay, still wearing the gloves, see?” she held her hands out to Cisco, who took them into his own. It was both to check for wear and tear, as much as it was to feel that his friend was really here. Caitlin could see Cisco working through emotions written as clear as day on his face. She remembered how hard it was to leave her best friend, despite the fact that is was for the best. Her hands still froze over sometimes and her hair never showed any signed of returning to the comforting brown she deeply missed. She couldn’t bring herself to dye it, though she doubted it would help much when the blinding white had pulled out her original pigment so easily to begin with.

“Are you both just going to stand there like dumb and dumber, or do I have to cook this meal myself?” Hartley jibed. That snapped Cisco out of his thoughts enough to pull away and walk past Caitlin. “We really would have a fire then, let’s go,” Cisco pulled Caitlin to the kitchen, where Hartley was getting out the ingredients Cisco had texted him yesterday. “I’ve been teaching him how to cook,” Cisco explained, blushing lightly. Caitlin squeezed his hand supportively, their wordless conversation falling back, despite how much they changed even just since the funeral. “This time it’s a variation of the classic gazpacho,” Hartley said proudly, pulling the two from their silent conversation. Cisco lit up and began to explain the recipe and how hard it is to find something Hartley could eat, given the fact he has decided to go vegetarian since living almost strictly on Belly Burger at Star Labs. “Did you know almost 84% of vegans and vegetarians go back to eating meat,” Cisco asked, his sidelong glance at Hartley revealing the fact he was baiting the other man. Caitlin smiled at the two; glad they had found friendship, however unconventional. She sat down at the bar, watching the two bicker and throw portions of food at each other, Hartley catching a tomato, only to have it burst in his hands. Cisco laughed, which earned him a pepper to the face.

“Rude! It’s not my fault you can’t control your powers,” he giggled. “Your right,” Hartley said bitterly, killing the mood, “It’s EoWells’.” That was what they had taken to calling Eobard in his Wells form, considering the difference in Eobards they had the misfortune of encountering. Cisco pulled out a towel, knowing exactly where to find it, handing it to Hartley gently, who was leaning over the sink lost in a memory as if he was afraid of getting sick, or lashing out. Cisco knew Hartley had a rough time when it came to EoWells, really they all did. He built them up and tore the rug from underneath them when he was done with his scheme. Barry was the only one he ever cared about, even if was just in a twisted perversion of speed and time. Hartley had been to Wells’ home, actually invited in to house sit once, long ago before Barry had been around. Hartley had actually met the previous Wells at a convention once as well, back when the boy was just getting out of middle school. Hartley was already too smart for his own good, showing promise in electrical engineering and sonic technology.

“Hart…” Cisco spoke gently, nudging the man carefully. Hartley glanced at his tomato soaked hands and then at the faucet, then at Cisco, who smiled lightheartedly when he realized the former supervillain’s dilemma. “Clean-freak,” He laughed as Hartley’s posture relaxed, turning on the faucet for the man and throwing the towel at his head. “ _Krasivaya katastrofa_ ,” Hartley responded, spinning the pretty words theatrically. “Crass catastrophe!” Cisco guessed with finite assuredness. Hartley shook his head. “I’ll look it up later,” Cisco leaned over the bar and muttered to Caitlin, shooting an annoyed glance at Hartley. Caitlin was just content watching the two and their dynamic. Once again, she began to realize she didn’t belong here. _What does it matter?_ She thought, sinking feeling in her gut reminding her of Killer Frost. _No_ , she reminded herself, _it’s still me_. It didn’t feel convincing though.

         “Are you staying for dinner, Caitlin?” Cisco asked hopefully, realizing he didn’t actually know what she was doing here to begin with. “I ate earlier, I’ll leave you guys to your date,” Caitlin promised smoothly. “It’s not a date,” Cisco said harshly and abruptly. Hartley faltered in his stirring, tensing once again. Really, he couldn’t catch a break. It was amazing that the air wasn’t singing, or maybe they were just used to the underlying tone that accompanied Hartley. “You can stay in the guest room, if you’d like? It’s cheaper than a hotel, and nicer than squatting,” Hartley offered. “You were squatting?!” Cisco asked incredulously. “Not… technically… yes?” Caitlin flinched at her friend’s concerned tone. “I’d love to hear how you rationalized that one,” Cisco frowned. She just shrugged slyly, “I guess I’ll take you up on that room, Hartley.”

 

Caitlin and Hartley had abandoned Cisco to his cooking so Hartley could show Caitlin the guest room. It was accessible through the kitchen through a door Caitlin hadn’t even noticed. It was snug to the greenhouse and gave her a nice view, though it was as empty as the rest of the penthouse. “You can grab your stuff later, if you want to stay for dinner?” Hartley questioned, hiding the hopefulness that crawled into his voice. “Everything important to me fits in my bag that I already have with me. If you’re really letting me stay here, I think I’ll just rest for now? You have fun with Cisco,” She smiled gently at him, finding the day to be looking up despite the falter earlier. Hartley nodded, but made no move to leave. Caitlin guessed what he wanted and sat on the bed, patting the space next to her. He joined her carefully; beginning his spiel in the familiar format they were used to.

“Cisco is nice now that we aren’t competing ever since Wells turned out, well, not to be Wells. It’s easier to talk to him, and I think we’re actually friends.” Hartley’s happiness at that statement was not missed. “It’s just, when there is nothing in between us, he becomes a _person_. A person who I know for a fact has a looser view on sexuality. I can’t help but hope…” Hartley faded off sadly. He didn’t have to say it, Caitlin knew what was going on the first time the young protégé had burst into her office with the name of their new comrade on his lips.

“Cisco would understand if you tell him,” Caitlin said. Hartley vehemently shook his head; “I can’t, not when he’s still getting over the thing with Cynthia.” “Tell him eventually, before he’s taken up by another pretty face and you lose your chance.” “A pretty _female_ face,” Hartley spoke bitterly. Caitlin couldn’t deny the sentiment. “He was pretty into Barry before the whole… everything.” Caitlin gestured vaguely. “Not helping, now I’m just jealous,” Hartley gritted. She shook her head sadly, despite the leaps of progress Hartley made in their ragtag support system; he always went back to this bitter self-loathing. It only got worse when he learned Wells wasn’t even the original Wells. “It’ll be okay, Hartley,” She rubbed his back gently, but he just pulled away from the touch. “What, like how you keep saying ‘I’ll be okay?’ Newsflash, Frost, it’s not okay,” He snapped, but seemed to immediately regret it.

_He fears you_ , Caitlin’s mind supplied, but she couldn’t actually find that hint of fear within Hartley. No, all she saw was regret. He left without saying another word, leaving her to think about how things were so drastically different than the future they all planned.

She plucked at the rings she always carried, either on her finger or around her neck. She was supposed to get married, have a few kids and a promising career. Her dreams of shiny awards and scientific esteem faded when the particle accelerator exploded. Honestly, the only thing she had was herself for a while, until Barry came back and brought back the light she was always missing. Then there was Hartley, who brought them Ronnie. Jay, or Hunter, happened, and she got a little closer to healing her heart only to have it shredded by the fact that he was the one trying to tear their family apart. Julian came and went like the breeze, then Caitlin finally had enough and left them all to “find herself,” which she never did. No, what she found was splintered mess comparable to Magenta. Now, Hartley was back and he brought Cisco tentatively back to her. It felt like the hole inside her was being rebuilt, the possible futures she often imagines slotting in place to bring back the people she missed. She didn’t think she could take it went it all fell away again.

 

Back in the kitchen, Cisco was waiting for Hartley; food abandoned for now meaning the man had probably been debating on whether or not to listen in. Hartley would have known though, hearing Cisco’s heartbeat through the door. A heartbeat that was erratic at the moment. He met the other’s gaze if only to learn what had him all riled up, surprised to find a stare full of an intense worry. Hartley’s own heart did flips in his chest, the man only just now realizing the pain budding up within his chest. He worried he would be close to tears if Cisco dare say anything emotional.

“You don’t look so hot,” Cisco pointed out. “Thanks, and here I thought I was the pinnacle of male sexuality,” Hartley responded dryly. Why does he even worry? Really, he didn’t need this bruise to his ego after he was already feeling beat down. “No, I mean you actually look sick, are you okay?” Cisco’s voice was still laced with heavy concern. Hartley looked at him like he was crazy, “I feel fine, thanks.” Hartley practically spat at him, if it was in his nature. He coughed away the feeling of bile that came with insulting the one person who actually listened to him, then biting at the one he wanted to put his hope (and other things) in, surprised to find blood on his hand. “I feel fine…” He whispered to himself, enough notice for Cisco to catch him as he fell like dead weight to the world. “I’ve got to admit, the last person who look at me like that got me laid,” Hartley joked, falling out of consciousness as an unfamiliar weight grew in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need a doc-tor~  
> call me a doctor~  
> I also desperately need a beta
> 
> Poor Hartley :( m'boii  
> Who can guess the mystery disease? I've hidden (fairly obvious once you know it) clues.  
> The real question is, who is causing the illness, because this isn't a world where this disease would be possible under any normal circumstances.  
> Who needs The Thinker when you have (*train horn sounds*)
> 
> comments and kudos feed my starving ego  
> find me @ lockewoodandco.tumblr.com


	3. H(e)art and Lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heart monitor had stopped beeping too. In fact, it was frozen in place as if the world had stopped. He heard the giggle before he saw the girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this could always be better but it yo boi so you know he ain't gunna go back and fix it

“What’s wrong with him?” Cisco begged for any plausible explanation for what he was seeing on the monitor. He had never seen anything like it, the points of concern blossoming out until they took over his lungs. Caitlin had sent an alert straight to Wally as soon as she saw Hartley collapsed in Cisco’s arms. Now, the past _(and technically present, though its still a bit of a debate)_ employee of Star Labs was lain out on a stretcher, hooked up to countless monitors. Wally had run away again after helping them hook Hartley up, but Jesse had stayed after learning who was the patient. Hartley and her had an almost familial bond, probably due to both of them having such close connections to Wellses. That and their frequent jests and jabs helped solidify a strange friendship.

            “Answer him! Why is he like this!” Jesse yelled at Caitlin, using her speed to force Caitlin to the wall. Obviously, Quick wasn’t over the whole “ice powers and betrayal” thing. “I don’t know! What’s happening to him is completely impossible, though I’m beginning to think that word holds no meaning anymore,” Caitlin had her frosty tone back, eyes flashing blue even though Caitlin Snow was in control.

_She questions you_ , **she has a right!**

            “Jesse! Caitlin can’t work when you have her pinned to the wall!” Cisco shouted angrily. “She’s doing something to him, I know it! He’s not evil, you are!” Jesse yelled back, tears prickling her adolescent eyes.

            _She doesn’t trust you_ , **she doesn’t trust _me_**.

            Caitlin’s eyes burned blue as she grabbed Jesse’s arms, freezing cuffs to them easily, then using the chain between them to flip their positions. Cisco looked ready to jump to Jesse’s aid, but Caitlin just held out her hand and gave him a look. Really, it was probably the look, and the fact that she didn’t immediately blast him that stopped him. “It’s still me, Cisco.” She said quickly, pulling in as much emotion as she could into those words.

            After she was sure her friend wouldn’t attack her, she turned her attention back to the struggling speedster. “I am doing the best I can for Hartley. He’s _my_ friend, too, in case you forget. Killer Frost- I like him even when I’m iced up. Now, I’m going to let you go so you can break these on the nearest counter, and then you will _wait outside_ instead of throwing insults at me when I’m trying to save him,” Caitlin spoke with stern authority. Jesse nodded, shaking with human fear instead of the normal extradimensional speedforce. Caitlin let her go, feeling the air and the crack of ozone that accompanies any speedster as Jesse Quick jumped out from her grasp.

            “Man, I forgot how scary you can be on your own, add in this new control and I say, you give Killer Frost a run for her money,” Cisco joked, probably the only thing he felt comfortable doing when their friend was probably dying and he almost attacked Caitlin. “Killer Frost was still me,” Caitlin said, finding it cathartic to admit it Cisco, especially since now she was actually starting to realize it. Cisco just nodded knowingly, sadly, as they both turned their attention back to Hartley and the thousands of monitors surrounding him. He looked almost alien, attached to so many wires. Cisco’s heart burned as he remembered their last comatose patient.

            “His vitals are normalizing, whatever flower he was allergic to seems to no longer be bothering him,” Caitlin stared in utter confusion at the monitor. “Flower?!” Cisco squeaked, “I thought they were something… I don’t know. Not actual flowers!” “They’re flowers alright. Something about them was causing an allergic reaction, when was probably a good thing considering the force of the flowers growing through the inside of his lungs was probably a feeling best felt unconscious,” Caitlin grabbed a notepad and jotted down a few readings, then ran to the cortex for one of their company tablets. Cisco was busy being laser-focused on his former antagonist to friend. Hartley was sleeping rather peacefully now that the monitors had stopped beeping.

_Wait_.

The heart monitor had stopped beeping too. In fact, it was frozen in place as if the world had stopped. He heard the giggle before he saw the girl.

“My name’s Maggie Mxyzptlk, but you can just call me Maggie,” The girl, only around Jesse’s age, grinned wickedly. She had a puff of purple hair, much cleaner and better dyed than Magenta’s, and wore a heart trinket around a chain on her neck rather proudly, Her lipstick made her look older than she probably was, A dark yellow to black ombre that was probably impossible to keep up if he learned anything from Caitlin’s Killer Frost look at all. Her dress was purple and yellow with a large white belt adorning her waist It was a simple look, one that would make you greatly underestimate a person if they had not probably been the reason your friend was facing death by flowers. No, instead of even pausing to chat, Cisco had blasted the girl.

            Sadly, the blast just phased through her, though in displacing the blast, she was no longer able to keep up what she had been doing previously, so time was brought back to normal speed. “Oh, come on! Time displacement has a limit, you know!” she whined. “Now I know!” Cisco quipped before blasting her again. This time, though, she wasn’t having it. Maggie brought up her hand and pushed. Immediately, Cisco’s vibrational wave was brought back to him, knocking him against the metal of the stretcher. “I don’t actually want to hurt you, you know,” She yawned. Cisco just groaned, thoroughly annoyed and upset at how he was doing. “ _Without Cindy,_ ” Cisco’s mind supplied. He was better with her, and he wished she were still here to guide him despite the fact she always berated him about having a much stronger skillset than her.

            “Quit moping and get up, _Vibe_ ,” The girl taunted. She was basically floating around in one place, playing with her necklace acting like she had all the time in the world. Really, with the time displacement thing, she probably did. “What do you want?” Cisco spat, getting up to shield Hartley’s form at a veiled attempt to protect him. Maggie just looked at him, thoroughly disinterested, “I’m not going to hurt little lover boy over there. Well, I won’t hurt him any more. I even cured his allergies, where’s my thanks?” “Fix. Hartley,” Cisco growled. “Can’t,” she shrugged. “Can’t, or won’t?” Cisco shot back angrily. She thought about it, an action that was all show, “I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was a little of both.”

“Cisco I figured out- who’s that?” Caitlin asked. “This is one time I would wish you would get a hold on the blast first ask questions later thing,” Cisco sighed. “I’m Maggie Mxyzptlk of the fifth-dimension!” The girl shot out her arms wide, spinning sideways from the force of the action. “You weren’t attacking! I wasn’t going to shoot her if she was helping! We have enough close calls as it is, speaking of which do you know where Jesse is?” Caitlin was a million words a minute the way she often is when assessing a situation or struggling with something. “Your speedster is currently in Prague,” Maggie stated simply. “You’re right, next time I’ll shoot first,” Caitlin decided, moving quickly over to take Cisco’s place by Hartley. She was the doctor, she’d be damned if she wasn’t the one protecting her patient. “I didn’t hurt her, but I might have her a little crisis while she was there, all in good fun, I swear!” Maggie laughed happily, swinging around in the air.

“Just tell me what you did to Hartley so we can fix it!” Cisco was losing his patience with this _creature_. Caitlin had the forethought to press the distress call on her phone as soon as she saw their visitor, and at the moment, she was clicking figures at her side trying to broadcast their situation to Wally. “I just infected him with something from my dimension! Don’t worry, it can all be cured with true love’s kiss!” She said excitedly. “It’s like a fairy tale! You remember Bartholomew Allen’s time in- what do you call him? -Music Meister’s dream. Well, it’s a similar theory for a similar technology, cure through kiss by using the chemical’s released by people in love. While his is optic, mine is airborne.” Maggie explained easily.

“Extradimensional hippies,” Cisco snorted,” you’re all a bunch of extradimensional hippies. Let me guess, you on the side of good too? Come to give a well intentioned lesson to us?” She thought about it like she had his previous question, making his stomach churn at the anticipation for her answer. “Nope,” she popped the “p” in a childish petulance, “I’m here because I have time to kill, and television has gotten so _boring_. I mean really? Barry trying to kill Iris? Like _that_ would even happen.” “Glad to hear the fifth dimension gets cable,” Cisco laughed aridly, ignoring the fact that said cable seemed to feature _them_.

“How are we supposed to find Hartley’s true love before his lungs give out? Why is the rate of growth different now than it was originally? Why does it have to be true love?” Caitlin asked. “His true love is near, trust me,” Maggie winked at Cisco, who was only growing more upset each passing minute. “Your real problem,” She paused dramatically, “will be getting him to fall in love with grumpy over there.” She made a face at Hartley before continuing, “The rate of growth was quick at the start because of how the disease was designed, duh. You can’t get information out of me! I already told you why it needs true love’s kiss, because I made it so!”

She only realized what she said too late, and with a quick _uh oh_ , she was gone. Caitlin and Cisco both breathed out a sigh they hadn’t realized they were holding, and brought their attention back to Hartley, who seemed to be having a bad dream. “He’s just sleeping it off after suffering an allergy attack,” Caitlin said gently, bringing her cool hand to Hartley’s forehead. “He’ll be fine,” she whispered hopefully. “Anyways,” She turned to Cisco, who was transfixed by Hartley’s sleeping form, “Maggie blurted out some useful information, no matter how strange. She was insistent on true love in the fairy tale sense, but judging by her description on how it works, I just think just needs to be someone who is in love with Hartley, no fairy tale’s necessary. Specifically, I’m guessing a charged romantic kiss is all that’s needed. Also, we know she made the _disease_ , which tells me it’s not anything mechanically born. It’s not a virus, either, which would have been my first guess given this information. I’m going to take some samples and work on it from my end, but we should definitely have a true love up in place for the very real possibility I can’t fix this this time.” Caitlin was dead serious, and it made Cisco worried. “How am I supposed to know who loves Hartley? He barely brings around any one night stands anymore and I’ve never seen him go steady with anyone in all my years of knowing him. The only… wait.” Cisco stopped dead on his train of thought as Caitlin glanced over in confusion. “ _This_ Hartley may not have a love, but I’ll bet you anything he’s got a husband on another Earth!” Cisco practically jumped with joy. “I’m going to ask Harry!” Caitlin watched him skip off, upset that Cisco seemed blind to his own feelings for Hartley, though realistically it wouldn’t be love. Still, maybe they had known each other long enough for something strong enough to accumulate between them. Caitlin wasn’t going to pretend to know what to do.

            Hartley’s lungs were a mess of acacia blossom, daffodil, and peony, one of which was poisonous. “Shame and bashfulness…” Caitlin whispered to herself. She only knew a little of the flower language, having little interest in it nor any need to know it. She remembered peonies though, only because a girl had given her a bouquet of them when she was in High School. It had been Caitlin’s first and only girlfriend. Silently, she looked up the rest of the meanings for the flowers recognized to Caitlin only by their genetic makeup and distinct shape.

Acacia turned out to be concealed love, something which fit well with the peony. There were actually many different variations of meanings, Caitlin soon found out, though she picked the ones best suiting the man laying on the stretcher. Daffodils turned out to also be called Narcissus, a name that accompanies a myth that felt very Hartley. The actual meaning was one of regard and esteem, something that fit the dynamic Cisco and Hartley share. There was a short saying with the definition on one of the websites, “The Sun is Always Shining When I’m With You,” a sentiment Caitlin found true when watching Hartley and Cisco together. They were lighter and brighter together despite the incessant bickering. It almost felt like they were new people.

Caitlin remembered the flowers Ronnie would give her sometimes, usually spontaneously picked weeds or single roses. She remembered some Queen Anne’s Lace she had pressed into a book at her mother’s home. She didn’t remember the last time she had been home. Home was Hartley’s house now, she guessed. What a weird thought to have, to consider Hartley’s empty penthouse a home.

She was so lost in thought she almost missed the hand on gripping her arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know everything always depends on how the fic does. if people like the way it's going, I may go back and make it pretty and more coherent. or I could actually get a beta ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> comments & kudos breathe life into my aching lungs and revive my cold dead heart
> 
> find me @ <https://lockewoodandco.tumblr.com/>

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in desperate need of a beta for this, hmu on tumblr if you're able, or through here.
> 
> No one's gunna believe me cause i didn't post it, but one of my in-the-works fics made the "smart Snart" joke before it was in the show. I haven't checked, but it's probably already made it's way into Popular Snart-Related Sayings Across All Fics. Isn't that...  
> p e a c h y
> 
> comments and kudos revive my cold heart,  
> find me on tumblr @ lockewoodandco.tumblr.com


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